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Curtain Call
When you are a five year old ballerina, you dance a little and wait to dance a lot. First, you stand around in your frilly fish costume looking adorable. You preen under the adulation you receive. Then...
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Good to Know
Last week, I was informed that for the past month, Henry spent his weekly “swim time” parked in a chair instead of paddling in the pool. His recalcitrance had spread to the other children and was now...
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The Best Part of Waking Up
I cannot relate to those people who spring out of bed, recharged and cheery after five winks. More often than not, mornings find me churlish and grumpy. I “normalize” only after imbibing a substantial...
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What’s the Dealio, Johnson & Johnson?
To paraphrase an 80s glam rock band: I didn’t know what I had until I didn’t. For over two months now, I have been on a quest for a name-brand product that has seemingly disappeared from the market. I...
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Pants on the Ground
The other night, I was on the fringe of a momversation about designer jeans. One hundred and eighty dollar designer jeans. As much as I would like to own a pair of jeans that would lift my junk back...
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Eau de Justin Bieber
Saw the most ridiculous thing this weekend while I was out and about: Yup. That’s right. Justin Bieber has his own perfume. Eau de stinky, hormone-laced, teenage boy. As a woman in her mid-thirties, I...
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Listography – Top Searches on OINKtales
So, I’ve been thinking about writing quite a bit lately but haven’t managed to put the proverbial pen to paper (or, in my case, fingers to keyboard). I’ve got half a dozen incomplete posts flitting...
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There’s No Such Thing As Dragons
Small woke up crying. This is uncommon and in my sleep fog I wasn’t sure if I had dreamed his cries or if he was truly sobbing. I waited. His cries intensified. I staggered out of bed to go to him....
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Sorry Doesn’t Cut It J&J, But I’ll Take the Coupon
I’m working on a post that explains my long absence but this news couldn’t wait: Johnson and Johnson has issued a formal apology for creating a run on feminine plugs. I complained about alerted people...
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And Now, A Word From Our Sponsor…
Poop is the word. The oft used -in spite of Mom’s discouragements – word. Aren’t there other, more interesting, topics of conversation? Sure, Mom. We’ll try. Driving home from summer camp, Medium and a...
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And Now, A Word From Our Sponsor…
Poop is the word. The oft used -in spite of Mom’s discouragements – word. Aren’t there other, more interesting, topics of conversation? Sure, Mom. We’ll try. Driving home from summer camp, Medium and a...
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